A letter of my return… The 740,000 (Pt2)

Think to yourself, is your life that busy to pass up someone in their current hurt & pains, Life can be hectic true, but we all need a shoulder to lean on at the end of the day. 
 
 

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Podcast host – Joey the Creative

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Transcript

Welcome back to the broken minds podcast I'm your host Joey the creative and here at the broken minds we talk about your hardest traumas so that you don't have to live them alone I want to say a great welcome back every single person who has been supporting me and been there for this podcast for the absolute long haul I have taken a break and God has convicted me about it a lot of things have been shifting and changing in my life and if I'd be honest I have truly diverted from the path I've taken God and his gifts that he has given me and I've said OK Lord I'm going to take the positive parts about these gifts but everything that you truly have purpose for me I'm just going to leave it leave it there and I'm going to in my own way mold and shift and and do it whatever I want with the gifts that you have given me and if I'd be so honest with y'all that is absolutely not right April 25th 2022 I started the broken minds podcast with a lot of hurt in my heart for someone so confused and mentally entrapped I thought starting this podcast would give me closure from the current pains of my life I thought he would expose all of those who were against me I thought it would give me a moral high ground and truly make myself quote on quote free from all of my broken paths I was wrong I was just another emotional kid who thought having a platform would validate his voice and his opinions but not actually becoming free from the chains that bound me on this journey I've faced many many pains I've stared death in the face and I've even considered her loving touch I have lived a broken life and I cannot run from that fact but there is not a greater comfort knowing that through all the hell I face that one person has been consistent in my life being a believer in Christ Jesus is one thing although even the demons believe in they tremble listen to me Jesus Christ walked the face of the earth with one purpose and one goal to do the willie's father he ate like me slept like me he even went to school like me but the difference between us is quite simple well other than of course you know being the king of kings and Lord of Lords but here's the difference all of my life I've rejected the call of my father not of my earthly father but of my heavenly father throughout that time period growing up I was very young and the pain I went through that trauma was actually the death of my mother I was overwhelmed honestly I broke I was completely numb to everything and to me life meant nothing maybe maybe during the hardest time of your life if you can think about right now maybe during the hardest time of your life it did not affect you maybe you never felt pain in in that moment maybe in that season of your life you were just an iron giant that was not me I did not have thick skin at all I'm be honest I'm fully emotional and that's 100% what it is you see my mother grafted together a lost soul I was an unlocked character in the Lego game the end credit scene of a marvel movie I was total untapped potential my mind was full of bliss just living life as an immortal being who did not question the limited time of this conscious realm because before this moment of life death and new life did not exist to me but he's so honest the death of my mother was the first moment of grief I've ever faced for a 14 year old kid leaving 14 whole years without seeing a major death in his life I wondered why OK Lord why was this my first experience why was the first experience of loss close to my family was the one person who I truly needed the most why Lord would you introduce reality to me this way let me tell you something through 4 failed suicide attempts and years long of twisted evil thoughts my life has definitely not been perfect and I will confess I've fallen into an inner darkness as a teen one soul bad that I had no regard for who I was I had no desire to seek God deeper and I'm going to be so honest life felt like a waste living in that time I started writing poetry I found that it was the only way out of this hell hole of depression that I could finally speak my mind free without fearing what others would think about me how I can express myself without fearing what others would say or consider I could just truly be myself within my writings and that is what truly gave me peace even to even to consider living this life without her I posted these writings online and to some my surprise people actually loved it I got comments saying these poems were more like emotional songs and beautiful melodies but in reality these were notes of my inward decay inner streams leaking my silent spirit I find it crazy how the same gun that kills us can yet also defend us the same words I used to highlight my inner demons were the same words that comforted random people online whom I've never met pains and traumas which I've never felt nor endured I find it funny how we all have dirt behind the glamour we try to portray how we all dress nice for the public but truly are rotting inside how we all try to talk proper in the open square but raise hell with our lips behind closed doors I truly find it amazing to understand the framework of how human beings operate we think we're the only ones entrapped in isolation dying within but just look around and you'll see hundreds of other cell blocks lined up in a prison of so-called public opinion the crazy part is if we are all truly struggling and if we all have a broken mind coming from a broken pass then that must mean the pressure of public opinion is a social concept that is self-afflicted and mind you nonexistent to those who have truly become free through Jesus Christ the poems I wrote in my early teens were the most gut wrenching words I have ever put together I mean I was telling it all I was writing poems that honestly I probably should have seek professional help about but at the time hey is what I had it was topics such as depression anxiety suicide and even cutting was yes I kind of did and I praise God that I'm alive to tell the tale but just imagine if I never would have written those poems what if I never shared them online or what if I sadly what if I actually did kill myself I wanna let you know something every single year social media on the beginning of the new year social media has this thing where it makes popular the the the suicide death toll you know it makes popular that number just say wow 500 people in the first hour ohh my gosh crazy 5000 on the first day it's insane out here I see those numbers on January 1st through maybe January 20th but after that who knows well at least it's not trending on social media anymore we kind of just move on to the new year kind of just move on to other topics and yeah maybe in some circles people are really really fighting hard to make awareness of the people who are killing themselves every single year every single day but on a grander scale it's like we say these numbers we reflect on these numbers they they pop up on my social media timeline and I reflect on them and I'm like wow I literally just I I was literally just praying to cross the new year and then I get this Ding on my phone talking about some the death toll he's already got 300 it's it's 12 on the dot and around the world it's already at 300 I just want to know what is month 9 looking like what is September looking like is it 100,000 is it 200,000 the title of this episode is the 740,000 yes reported annually there are 740,000 people who take their own life every single year not just 2020 5/20/24 every single year 2026 we're about to enter into they are projected to meet in this number or even maybe even higher imagine that according to the Institute for Health metrics and evaluations that is 1 suicide death one death solely caused by suicide every 43 seconds so my bizarre question to you is how many people do you think have taken their own life while you were even listening to this podcast and how many people how many of those people in your local area do you think you could have saved in the time that we have been gathered together today as you'll hear on this podcast I'm going to talk a lot about your voice who you are as a person who God has made you to be not only are we talking about mental health and the real critical areas and the areas of our lives that we are just very insecure about whether it was traumas happened yesterday or 25 years in the past whatever it is you're going to hear me talk about these things of my life because they're ever so present in my life in the past but also in the present of other people's lives that's what this podcast is going to be aimed towards but also I want to encourage you and I want to say your voice matters no matter what pains traumas anything that is come against you your voice matters and on this platform we are going to inspire you we are going to lift you up and we're going to see what God has purposed within you the creative giftings the ways that God has formed and fashioned you to fit into this world and not to fit into it like AT and just follow the narratives of this world but to fit into it for the glory of the honor and the praise of the most high God how can you use your giftings that God has given you to not only bring glory to him but also save so many lives so many souls 740,000 people reported annually one suicide death every 43 seconds I believe in Jesus Christ I believe every single word that that Bible says I believe in the Trinity I believe everything to an absolute tea sometimes we want to pick and choose the biblical scriptures to apply to our lives because it's convenient it's lovely it's nice and I absolutely love them for example my favorite scripture in the word is proverbs 1816 where God will open doors for me as I do the the gift that he's given me Romans 116 that I am unashamed of the gospel Romans 828 for all things work together for the good of those who love God and who are called to his purpose there's so many scriptures that you can pick to apply to your life and live it out but then there's scriptures like James one 2 through 7 and it's like wait a minute let's let's calm down here this scripture says my brethren count it all joy when you fall into various trials stop right there ohh my goodness count it all joy when you fall into various trials the scripture is saying that not only is it prevalent that you are going to follow like you are going to fall like you cannot live this Christian this this this text is literally saying you cannot live this Christian life without falling you are going to fall it goes furthermore to say count it all joy so even when you fall count it all joy when you fall knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience but let patience have its perfect work that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing O we already covered that this passage is telling us that we're going to face certain trials throughout the relaunching of this podcast I've gathered together a many friends who is reading off this letter and I think it's so cool and first of all shout out to everybody who's a part of this thank you for accepting like my by wild suggestions of life thank you for it but I think it's so cool that these people have agreed to do this with me basically what we're doing on the podcast is I've written a long continuous letter that I'm still writing and I'm having people read portions of the letter O one person will read this portion another person read that portion and it all comes together and the purpose of doing this is not only to show you rise my past and the things that I had to I had to overcome but also for you to hear it in other people's perspectives now true this letter isn't is in one with my past but I'm so confident I'm so sure of saying this every single person thus far who was read that letter also has a story and many of these people I know that we have deep conversations of their past all I know is that they have stories and sometimes I get so excited to hear people's worry is to literally sit down for a space of time and say yo I have gone through the the grief of losing a parent I'll explain it I'll go through my feelings about it and how I feel about it even today like I'm going to let you guys know like this November November 21st is the 10th year anniversary of my mother's passing we believe that she passed on November 21st the day that it all happened the day that medics rushed the house marching upstairs the day that she was rushed out the building the the day that all of that happened and then on November 25th was the official day that the doctors gave us the report but we honestly believed it was the 21st so it has been 10 years since that moment of time it has been 10 years since I cried those tears and when I think about the readers who have who have read that story at the beginning of this podcast episode when I think about those people each one of those people and each one of the future people who are on the podcast they also have a story quite similar to that Or maybe completely different maybe it was a father who passed away maybe it was an uncle maybe it was a spouse maybe maybe it wasn't even the the death of a loved one maybe it was a traumatic experience that happened to them personally whatever it was we go through that we face it we come to Jesus Christ however the story is we came to Jesus Christ we say we believe the Bible and everything in the Bible because we came to Jesus Christ and then we come across scriptures like James one and maybe there's someone who hasn't faced the trauma or maybe you're stuffing it so deep down inside that it's not even affecting you right now I wanna I wanna tell you how significant this moment is you mean to tell me that the sight of my mother laying on the ground seized out because she had brain tumors so she was having seizures so the way that she passed away was slowly fading out of consciousness you mean to tell me that I should count it all joy that that happened you mean to tell all these people that they should count it all joy that all that happened but with God nothing is without a purpose everything is purposeful knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience but let patience have its perfect work that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing all of the pains of life have a purpose and God has designed that purpose to suit his will in his timing and we might not understand but trust me give it some time I know that trauma kicked you in the **** I know that broken household created grief and anger that you have promised to hold till the end but look at that this way would you rather hold on to that pain and anger and hatred unforgiveness forever or would you take a chance with Jesus Christ and to let him do a perfect work within you if anyone likes wisdom let him ask of God who gives to all liberally and without reproach and it will be given to him but let him ask in faith without doubting for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind the book of James is literally telling us ask in faith ask in faith ask in faith whatever you lack ask in faith if you lack wisdom ask in faith if you lack understanding ask in faith if you lack strength ask in faith if you lack anything ask in faith but the thing about it is you cannot have a doubt in your heart for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind for let not a man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord verse 8 he is a double minded man unstable in all of his ways so to end off this episode what am I saying I'm basically saying that I had a very traumatic past growing up the death of my mother and the amount of grief that came with that shook my world completely there's nothing I can say about it like it took my world as a 14 year old kid turned it upside down and shook it for all the cash that it had and then afterwards placed it down on the ground and taxed it about 25% that's what that situation did to me my entire childhood dawn my entire teenage years gone everything gone and we wanna we we wanna believe we have it all together and we're all good you're lying to yourself I know you're look that's that's kind of harsh I know you're lying to yourself why because I have faced has to be the hardest moment of my life the hardest space I could ever think about and I can tell you and I will tell you that experience destroyed me ripped me up limb for limb it absolutely decimated me emotionally spiritually physically literally physically I was taking razors and and just playing tic tac toe with my flesh literally I remember I would actually take random tools I would I would have these rage moments I would I would whenever everyone was at work and everyone was gone it was just me in the house I would have these moments of actual rage and I would scream aloud just just random stuff and I would run downstairs to the laundry room where we had all the tools stuff of the house and and I'll take random screwdrivers and I'll just like skin my neck just enough to to feel it but not just enough to like puncture anything but just enough to like I'm I'm here I'm present and I don't know what to do that was me I have gone through so much in my life and I did not just tell you that just to like wallow in my depression and bring that up and kind of regurgitate it no I'm telling you this for the purpose that I don't know what you're going through but I want you to know what I was going through and for you to know that it doesn't matter what you have endured the death of a of a loved one a physical trauma an insecurity whatever it is the Lord says counted all joy and his word count it all joy because that testing in your life it's going to build in mold you in ways that shouldn't be wouldn't understand trust me it's gonna hurt but it's well worth it the thing about it is we can only remedy the problem by accepting Jesus Christ into our lives and then going forth to help others out the deep hate we face whatever you have faced today no matter how intense it may be remember this if you can make it to the sunrise you can shine that light to those who are afraid to even cry I'm gonna end this episode here with that statement you can make it till the sun rise you can shine that light to those who are afraid to even cry.